we went through this entire charade years ago and i have no interest in repeating this pattern of behaviour with you. it wasn’t healthy for either of us then, and it’s not now. i really thought that we were past this, and it has really disappointed me to be in this situation again, after so many years of working on our relationship.
i don’t wish to fight with you, then be ignored by you, then receive a list of demands from you, have you feign a familial relationship with me for a short time until your demands are met, have you sabotage any attempts i make to control my own life, then rinse and repeat the process. that isn’t a healthy relationship, and although you may achieve a sense of gratification from it due to the control that it gives you, i do not.
one of your favourite phrases is that you “only want me to be happy” but the actual definition of this seems to be that you only want me to be happy doing the things that you feel are correct and appropriate. when i do something outside of this strict definition you cannot resist getting up on your soapbox and preaching to me about how terrible my behaviour is, until i feel guilty for it, even if that behaviour actually contributed to my overall happiness.
you don’t actually know me very well. you’ve spent so much of my life focussing on what i am not, and trying to mould me into the person that you think i should be, that you haven’t spent a huge amount of time trying to find out who i am.
you have no authority over me apart from the authority that i designate to you as a family member, and it’s hard to give you any of that authority when you aren’t acting like one. when our relationship is like this you don’t give me advice, you set me a list of goals that is impossible to complete. no recognition is given for the tasks that are completed because in the time that it’s taken to achieve one, you’ve already set several others. it’s an endless unhealthy treadmill that i got off years ago and i don’t wish to get back on. i’m sorry.
i tried so hard to fix this. i’m going to miss you.